There it was. On the shelf. The box. The label said it all: "For pimples, acne and skin disorders". That was exactly what I wanted.

"Mum?"

"Yes?"

"Please?"

"Why do you want that stuff? It’s a waste of money."

"But I need it!"

"OK." Sigh. Box goes into shopping trolley. I swing on the handle and ride with my feet off the floor until I hit the shelves.

"Push it properly, or I’ll take it off you!"

"Sorry Mum."

We go home. Dad's at the door. He comes to the car and helps us carry the bags into the house.

"How did it go?"

"Very well. Nobody noticed."

I go past my Mum and Dad and run into the bedroom. I open the tube and squeeze the ointment out. It looks like a worm.

"Now I’ll show them!"

I wipe the sticky goo all over my face and wait. No pimples appear. No acne. No skin disorders. It must be rubbish. False advertising.

"Mum! We'll have to take this stuff back. It doesn't work!"

"Give it time."

"How long?"

"At least an hour. Just leave it alone and watch the clock."

That was another thing. The clock was meant to tell the time but it didn't. All it did was tick and tock. Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick. Another dud from the supermarket.

It’s like a lot of things. You can't rely on the advertising. Not one bit. Like the other day, when Mum bought some laundry powder. It said on the box that the