powder made clothes whiter than white. She tipped the powder all over her clothes but all it did was fall to the floor and make a mess. She had to vacuum it all up.

Another time she bought a thing called an egg-timer. She put it beside some eggs and nothing happened. Dad had a close look at it and found the problem. All the machinery had been replaced with a bit of glass and some sand. What a cheat! How can anyone time an egg with that stuff!

So anyway, I sat watching the clock till the little sticks on it had moved.

"Is that an hour yet Mum?"

"How should I know? It might be. I can't see any pimples yet."

"Told you the stuff didn't work."

"Its like the petrol station," said Dad, "It said 'Pump Open' but I couldn't see how. It was already open anyway, and there wasn't a pump to pump it open with."

"Maybe," said Mum, "We were too hasty. We should have kept a few humans aside, and watched how they did things?"

"Well you know the commander," said Dad, "He wanted a quick invasion of this planet. They've got a reputation for being violent, these humans. We had to vaporize them and take over within one orbit. You know that."

"Yes," said Mum, "But it would have been nicer if we'd figured out how they did things."

I went to the bathroom to wash the pimple-cream off. Useless stuff! Looks like I'm stuck with clear, smooth, green skin after all.