ChristArt - Articles

Tooth & Nail

(Sep. 26, 2000)

The conflict began one evening service at the Church of the Open Door in Fayetteville, North Carolina. We GIs from the Serviceman's Christian Center would often attend there. That night a teenager armed with a slide projector gave us the highlights of his recent summer mission trip. When it was all over, I didn't give much thought to the subject. Maybe I toyed around with the idea of going on a mission trip, but I knew that it wouldn't be this summer. After all, I was scheduled to start my first semester with Moody Bible Institute the coming fall. I would have to work all summer to raise my room & board expenses for the first semester.

I had recently finished my time in the Army and moved into the Servicemen's Center. Young and invincible, an ex-green beret, I was ready for the next phase of my life. I figured I had what it takes to be a jungle missionary. In a flippant, ignorant sort of way, I planned to do so. Since missionary organizations require some Bible training, I also threw Bible college into my plans for good measure. I heard great reviews about Moody, but I didn't think they would take me. Moody was a top notch Bible College and I barely graduated from high school with a C- average. I applied anyway and prayed that I would take it as God's leading if I were accepted. When I received the letter of acceptance there was no doubt in my mind that God wanted me to go to Moody.

At the time I assembled bicycles for Sears. I worked by myself in a room above the garage. This proved to be an ideal place to listen to Christian music or sermons on tape. It was while listening to one of these tapes that the conflict took its next step and before I knew it I was in an all out wrestling match with God himself. I cannot remember the preacher, but I'll never forget his message. It was "Anytime, Anything and Anywhere." He said that these were the three most difficult words to say to God. The zealot that I was, I was convinced that I could say these things. Hey, I was going to be a jungle missionary!

But under fire, the truth came out, and it didn't take pigmies with spears. I was unable to follow God blindly. I thought God already told me to go to Moody and I was unable to accept that now He wanted me to go on a summer mission trip before school started. I fought this tooth and nail. I was convinced that if I didn't save money during the summer, I would blow the freakish, lucky chance I happened upon to attend a good college. The wrestling match began and I felt the strength of my strong opponent. His hand was so real that it was as if He had a plastic bag over my head and I could not breathe. I have never before, nor ever since, been more convinced of God's will for me.

After about a week of fighting I finally said "uncle." It wasn't a very graceful "uncle," but it was an "uncle" nevertheless. Upon entering the prayer closet at the Serviceman's Center, I gave God a good tongue-lashing. I said, "I belong to you, if you want to ruin my life then go ahead!" Funny thing, when I left that closet, I received a peace and an excitement, really looking forward to going on that summer mission trip.

Strangely, soon after that, obstacles started to present themselves. I was late in applying to Teen Missions. Before, I had all summer to raise my room & board costs for college, now I had less time to finance a summer mission. The money was raised in the nick of time. The majority of it came in on the last day with a good portion of that coming in within the last few hours. Time was now up and I had to be in Florida the next day. Unfortunately, I was in North Carolina without a bus ticket. I was out of time and out of money. I was still convinced that this mission trip was going to mess up my life, but I wasn't going to give God the chance to back down. I packed my duffel bag and planned to hitch hike to Florida.

Somehow Mike, a warrant officer who attended the Church of the Open Door, found out my plans. In quick intercession, he drove me to the bus terminal and paid my ticket (round trip) just in time to hop on the scheduled departure to Florida. When summer was over I still had the dilemma of paying for my first semester. My friend Christian stood in the gap and handed me a check for the balance of my room & board. As God said I would, I started Moody that fall.

I look at my children and see myself. I'm not talking about how they look like me, but how I act like them. Like them I have a Father who is still teaching me how to walk, to listen, to work, to obey. I too have screamed and kicked. I have argued and argued and argued all because I could not see from the perspective of my Father above.

My task at hand is not to plan for tomorrow, but to seek God's will for me today.

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