Special Effects: Superstition

Why am I wearing bandages all over my head?

Why do I stay at home, and hide in my bedroom?

I'll tell you.

Yesterday I was pulling faces. I don't mean just rude faces, or funny faces, I mean faces. I've always been able to do it. I can stretch my skin all over the place. My lips can look like a turtleneck sweater. My ears can flap like Dumbo's ears. My head can swell like a balloon, or go as flat as a pan-cake.

But I never do it on a windy day. That's the most dangerous time. Mum told me over and over, when I was little, "Never pull a face on a windy day!" and I'd say "Why not?" and she'd say, "Because the wind might change, and you'll be stuck with a face you don't want!"

That was good advice. Most of my friends are already stuck with faces they don't want. But I was careful. I only pulled faces when the air was still.

Until yesterday.

It was a dreadful day! I did my best face yet. First I puckered all the skin on my forehead, so it looked like an armadillo's back, then I stretched my ears out and wrapped them round my neck. I blew my lips up so they looked like a couch without legs, and my nose went all the way over the top of my forehead. My cheeks looked like wings and my chin was flat, like a shovel, and I was finished. It was a fantastic job!

I went to show my Dad, but just as I got to him the wind sprang up. And changed. Just like that. Whoosh puff! So I was stuck with this incredibly gross face. End of story?

Not likely. I've got this girlfriend, see? She's the most beautiful, the most attractive, the most... well I think I'll skip the description. Just imagine an angel or something. Anyway, I've got this girlfriend, and she's kind of keen on me too, and I'd arranged to meet her after school, at the Park. We were going to collect leaves for a science project. Do you believe me? It wasn't really the science that attracted me, but hey, its sounds good!

I couldn't go looking like I looked, could I? She might scream and run home, or put me on the endangered species list. I was really stuck. If I showed up, I'd lose her, and if I stayed away she'd get annoyed and probably never come round again. Both ways I was in the cart.

So what did I do? I wrapped a heap of towels and bandages and things round my head and went to the Park.