Amazing Stories: Manure Pie

Ralph looked at his watch and held his hand up.

The Gross-out Competition is about to start!" he shouted.

All the kids quieted down straight away and waited.

"To avoid favoritism, we've arranged the competitors alphabetically, so Alan is first. Alan, take out your first gross-out meal!"

Alan selected a bag and pulled something out. He folded back the paper and held it up.

"Cold porridge!" he said.

"Break off a piece and share it with the other competitors," said Ralph.

I looked at the moist, cold, gray lump of porridge in my hand and my mouth went dry. I already felt like throwing up.

Alan put his piece of porridge into his mouth and chewed, then he swallowed.

All the kids watching this amazing display of self-control made a gasping sound.

Ditto dropped his piece of porridge into his frog-like mouth and swallowed. He didn't even chew it.

"Easy!" he said.

Samuel gagged.

"I can't do it!" he said, rushing to the taps for a drink.

Patrick and I managed to get our bit down, and so did Brick.

"Samuel has been eliminated in the first round!" said Ralph. "Now, for the next round, Alan will take out his second gross-out meal!"

Alan sorted through his bags, trying to decide which to pick. Then he opened one and unwrapped five soft, white, plump huhu grubs!

I knew he could eat them because I'd seen him do it before. He had a Maori friend who'd showed him how.

Alan shot a triumphant glance at me. He thought he'd got me licked, but that made me mad. I'd show him who had an iron stomach.

All the kids shuddered and whistled as Alan raised the grub into the air, dangled it there, and then lowered it into his mouth. He closed his teeth on it and bit the head off. Then he chewed, slowly, until everyone watching was feeling sick. Then he swallowed and looked across at me.

I opened my mouth and dropped the grub in. Thank goodness it was dead! I tried to imagine it was really made of chocolate, or custard, and began to chew. It was horrible to the max but strangely nice, like peanut butter!

Ditto was queasy about eating his grub. He looked at it for a while, and rolled it round on the palm of his hand trying to make up his mind. He looked at Alan, then at me, and sneered.

"No-one out-grosses me!" he said, and gulped the grub down as fast as he could.

Patrick was going white as he finished his grub, and Brick spat his out and went to the taps.