Around the Bend: Apple Drop

"What's that for?" asked Benny.

"Classical music makes things grow better," I said. "I heard them say that on the radio last week. Apple trees love Beethoven."

I knew Benny didn't believe me. But strangely enough it seemed I was right. The seeds were already sprouting after only five minutes of Beethoven's fifth, and pushing tiny green shoots towards the ceiling. I turned the volume up to make them grow faster.

I also played romantic waltzes by Strauss, dances by Bizet, marches by Borodin, symphonies by Mozart, and some light variety by Rossini and Debussey.

The seeds grew faster and faster. They sprouted leaves, grew stems, formed buds. Soon the flowers were dropping off and the fruit was swelling. Apple-tree roots spread over the floor and pushed through the carpet.

A few days later, when the apples were ready, Benny and I picked them and cut them up. We planted the new seeds outside, in my garden and turned the stereo up even louder than before, until my neighbor, who is ninety-three and rather grouchy, came out to see what I was doing.

"Try one of these," I said, passing him an apple from the first crop.

He took a bite and grinned.

"Remarkable!" he said. "I feel supremely happy!"

"That's what's supposed to happen," I said. "Come on! Help me get these things picked!"

Benny had to go home again and there was too much work for just him and me to get through, so I did some phoning around and got some other help - all the old folks from the Rest Home came round, to help me pick and de-seed apples. Soon enough we had several small sacks full when Benny went to the door.

"See you tomorrow, Grandpop!" he said.

"See you!"

That was last month. Since then I've been working flat out, me and my old folks neighbors that is, and we've got huge piles of apples ready in our little gardens at the back of all our flats. So now we're busy making parachutes. You see, the idea is to drop the apples by airplane over every country. We hope to specially drop them where the leaders are, because it seems to us elderly folk that they're the ones who need cheering up most.