Wording of this Handout:
"Hi, before you leave your message, here's something interesting you might like to know. With the completion of the "Appassionata" sonata (Op.57) in 1806, Beethoven came to the end of a period that had witnessed the composition of a series of masterpieces for solo piano. Some five hundred years before this happened, Joan of Arc, a French girl, left the farm where she worked and persuaded King Charles VII to let her lead his army. Another aspect of armies is the way some ants seem to congregate in formations resembling a military procession.
As you listen to the message, remember that the sound travels first through the outer ear, past the eardrum, and into the hammer, anvil and stirrup bones, and thence on to the semi-circular canals in which the cochlea detect vibrations, passing the signals on to the auditory nerve. Fascinating stuff isn't it. Now, what did you want to say?"
Muffled voice. Stammering. Nervous.
"Oh yeah, right, er, there's, er . . . no-one here at the moment, I mean, there's me, but besides that, the house is empty. . . and, er, that broken window has nothing to do with me . . . and I haven't got time to take any messages, because, er . . . I've got something to do. Yeah, er, I'm busy. So don't ring me. OK?"
Gidday. My owner is out at the moment. Leave a message when you hear the beep, and if you don't know who this is, I'm sure not going to tell you. See ya!"
The SNOOTY RICH PERSON
"You may leave a message if your income is more than $250,000 per year. If you earn less than that, write a letter."
The GAGGED HOSTAGE
"Mmmffmmf ff fmmmfmmf mmfm fmfffmmm mmmmm mmmff fmffmmfm mmfmmf fmf mmmfmff!"
OK, now its your turn to think of some!