Wording of this Handout:
Amazing Science Facts
How big is the universe?
It has no limit. It just goes on and on and one and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and its really big too!
How many stars are there in the universe
Quite a few. Last time I counted, there were seven, but a friend of mine said he could see nine or ten. Actually, I thong there are no stars at all, and those twinkly things you can see at night are really little holes in a big sheet of black cardboard. The holes by hail-stones, but the City Council puts bandages on them before the next bit of night-time.
What is a planet?
A planet is a lump of cold porridge. You see, a long time ago, when everyone in the world ate nothing, someone grew a hamburger tree. It was such a wonderful thing to have hamburgers, after so many hundreds of years, that everyone put all the porridge they could find into great big heaps, on top of volcanoes. When the volcanoes blew there stacks, the porridge was sent into space, and there it stays, going round and round the sun. The reason there are so many rockets going out into space these days, is to see if one of these big lumps of porridge can pulled back to earth, heated up, and fed to all the hungry cats and dogs and mice.