MMag 176 Jokes

Wording of this Handout:

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"I feel a bit light-headed..."

"Calendars are never hungry because they are always full of dates!"

"Can a letter box?"

"Can a tin whistle?"

If this is a pair of scissors how come you can buy just one sciss?

"Why are you carrying that hammer?" "I want to make an impression on you."

And this is a picture of a stolen______?

"I'm a gnome and I don't gnow how to spell my own gname."

This is the longest pencil in the world. With it, a school kid can do his work at school without leaving home!

Golf course for really silly beginners.

"Buzz off!"

2 bee or not 2 bee.

Nearly there...

The quickest way to climb Mt. Everest-just turn the mountain upside down!

"I've heard of a daddy long legs... but what about a mummy long legs?"

A rock star.

Safty matches, 100% unlightable.

"I'm going to sock you in the foot!"

"I know boomerangs come back-but where do they come back from?"

"A pig that steals things at night is called a ham burglar!

If you are a really dumb person, please read this question again!

Chocolate records-just play then eat!

"Go to your room!"

A mountain ear.

"Want to see a real cool cat? I keep it in the freezer!"
"Let meowt!"