Unbearable Jokes

Wording of this Handout:

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Unbearable Jokes

Electric comb.

"Help! Help! I can't swim!" "So, what? I can't play piano!"

"Look, Mum, the fish is happy!" "How do you know?" "Because he's wagging his tail."

This umbrella lets you know when it has stopped raining.

If you have a sock with a hole, turn it inside out so the hole is on the other side!

"When I asked you to sign your name on my leg I meant the one with the plaster on it!"

Say this quickly: This shop stocks short sloppy chopped socks!

Did you hear about the bear who took a mirror to bed so he could watch himself while he was asleep?

No Fishing.

"Hey can't you read the sign?"

"I'm not fishing-I'm trying to teach my worm how to swim!"

If teachers are so cleaver why do they keep asking questions?

"How's that cough?" "Much better, I've been practicing all night!"

"That's a nice picture-but where's the grass?" "The sheep has eaten it all."

Did you know pigs go to jail in a ham-bulance?

What to do if you have a flat tire: Turn the wheel up the other way so the flat bit is on top!

Say this quickly: Red leather, yellow leather.

"Have you seen my identical sister?" "Er, what does she look like?"

Did you hear about the bear who kept his wife in the cupboard because he thought she was a little potty?