Born Again

When I was but a child, my mind was filled with God's awe and wonderful.
Around age seven, I began to feel the thunder.
A tiny observer of the world around,
48 years later, here's what I've found;
You can chase money, career, dreams or love,
But true lasting peace only comes from above.
I've got one brother I love who went for riches,
He's got a big house, while his happiness is in ditches.
Another brother I love chases after power.
He's got many below him, yet sits alone hour after hour.
One sister and a cousin lust after drink.
One is now dead and the other can't think.
My own mother loved to wallow in fear.
And cancer attacked her year after year.
My dad loved his lies and the lust in his heart,
By age 70, dementia tore his mind apart.
One brother so angry that he feeds his hate,
Never stopping to ask, why do I choose this fate.
One righteous sister took on the brunt of family power.
She is my only sibling dead at this hour.
Another sister put her faith in a man which she found gladness.
When he died, she got lost in her sadness.
My hateful grandfather knew all that's right,
But he died alone on a toilet in the night.
After all of these years observing whats around,
There was only one way to test what I'd found.
I knew I wanted none of those desires.
I was on a quest for truth in its entire.
I asked many questions along the way,
Some would try and answer, but most had nothing to say.
A few brave souls told me the truth along the way,
But I didn't listen because I liked being gay.
That was the one thing holding me back.
I wanted love, but I was on the wrong track.
If I truly wanted a lasting love,
I needed to address the source above.
I held onto this knowledge for several years
But didn't address it based on my fears.
One night while sitting alone in my place,
While thinking of things I'd like to erase
A made a decision about the desire of my heart.
I wanted a love that no one could tear apart.
So I took that leap of faith one wonderful night,
Even though my soul was intensely filled with fright.
I begged, Father forgive me and help me understand.
Have mercy on me and take command.
Instant calmness washed over my mind
The emotions released, can't be defined.
All of sudden woke to unconditional love .
And now I give praise to my God up above.
I feared the worlds judgements, and caved to their needs.
Being submissive to man only feeds its greed.
So now I walk, alive with God's power
And not a soul on this Earth can topple this tower.
My advice to you if you can't sleep at night
Ask the Lord to give you His sight.
Don't be afraid of the thing that you need.
If you live in your fears you can not succeed.
Life my friend is no competition or race.
And when it all ends, we return to one place.
You can go down kicking and screaming
Holding onto your desires and dreaming.
Or you can give your life to our creator most high
And in that moment, you begin to fly.