I'm caught in a battle between then and there,
It's a lonely existence, I am quite aware.
Second guessing His word in this prison I live,
Thoughts of shame uncontrolled, seeming never to give.
I wrestle with "whys", when it should be the "whats",
As my mindset rewinds through the "ifs" and the "buts".
Jesus carried the cross to relieve me of sin,
Yet I can't seem to find such forgiveness within.
The demons at play waged this war in my heart,
To keep me from seeking in Him a new start.
If I'd just take a chance, lay it all at His feet,
Faith donned be my weapon in Satan's defeat.
This poem won second place for the November 2019 poetry contest