I was There; Now I am Here

I was there; sitting all alone,
alone in my reflections;
Filled with the doubts to which I'm prone,
lost in my imperfections.

Considering the pain I'd felt,
felt in the midst of my fear;
Suffering is the place I'd dwelt,
my hurting was always near.

Broken promises; haunt my past,
past; influencing my path ahead,
Blinding hope, leaving me aghast,
living in the middle of my dread.

Dad dying; children are distant,
distant from the love I give;
Drought's sorrow always persistent,
failures constantly I relive.

Now I am here; Jesus lives within,
within my heart, with all its brokenness;
Filled with hope, learning how to begin,
not listening to doubt's outspokenness.

Considering the joy that's mine,
mine in the midst of my pain;
My fear, to His love I resign,
in His strength I now remain.

Blessed promises; guide my today,
today; influenced only by His grace;
Renewing hope, walking in His way,
living in the middle of Christ's embrace.

Jesus dying; to now set me all free,
free from my past, so I can live in the now;
Sorrow for sin, as I fall to my knee,
my failures removed, if I only allow.

I was there; now I am here,
here in Your Holy presence to worship'
Nourished in God's new frontier,
You sit with me; in true fellowship.

Psalm 73:28 But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works.

Note: This poem is about contrasts - verse 5 is the opposite to verse 1, verse 6 the opposite to verse 2 etc. It finishes with verse 9 a summary of the change, growth and blessing God brings. The poem captures the journey of my life; a life of trying to learn about and comprehend the nearness of my God and His acceptance of me. Lord please make me aware that You sit with me at all times in true fellowship!