Never let me go

I'm not blind
but sometimes I don't see
why, dear God, you're so good to me

I know, my dearest Lord, that I've made you cry
and every time I did you just turned a blind eye
Your patience with me, it must get a little thin
because of all the trouble that I've caused and been in
but just know, my God, that I don't mean to be a thorn
and I thank you for the chance of being born and reborn
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
I thank you with all my heart just for being so good

I'm not deaf
but sometimes I don't hear
the sound of your love, so loud and clear

The lightning, the thunder, it scares me, makes me wonder
why I don't listen, and why you don't let me go under
You tell me what to do and you tell me how to do it
but I go the other way...standing lost, again I blew it
I hear your word, in your works and in your graces
I can see your word at work in all my little babies faces
I'm listening, Lord, but sometimes I don't hear you
and even though I've wandered, you've always kept me near you

I'm not mute
but sometimes I can't speak
because the beauty of your mercy has made me weak

How many times, my Christ, have you had mercy on me
and how many times has your love set me free
How many more times am I going to fall
before I finally get up, and over the wall
The wall that is the world, the wall that keeps me down
The wall that traps me underwater and wants me to drown
I know it's only by your mercy, and your mercy alone
that I am given another chance, another chance to atone

I'm not crippled
but I know I can't stand
without my dearest Christ always holding my hand

I stand here before you, Lord, being torn apart
The devil sometimes gets my mind, but he'll never get my heart
He sometimes gets my body and it sometimes takes it's toll
but as long as you hold my hand he will never get my soul
I've tried it on my own, I know I've left you...turned away
and I stumbled and I fell every time I went astray
Will I wander again, dear God only you know
but if I do, I won't go far, because you will never let me go

This poem was a finalist in the June 2014 poetry contest