Around the Bend: Promises, Promises

"I went to the door and looked at what had come through. Do you know what it was? It was a jellybean! A small, sticky, green jellybean.

"I picked the jellybean up and looked at it. My mates were rolling about on the floor, laughing themselves silly. They said over and over "You have to marry it! You have to marry it!" and I kept saying I didn't have to because when I promised, I didn't mean I'd marry a jellybean, but they said a promise was a promise, and I had to do what I'd said, so I was stuck wasn't I?

"When the girl of my dreams did actually open the door, I was sitting on the floor looking sadly at the jellybean. "I can't marry you now," I told her, "I'm already engaged." She thought I'd gone crazy, and she never talked to me again for a long time after that.

Lefty and Mick and I had gathered round grandpa's feet. We enjoyed his stories.

"So what happened after that?" said Mick impatiently.

"Did you really marry the jellybean?" asked Lefty.

"Before I get to that, I'll tell you what happened," said grandpa, "I had a problem alright, but there were ways round it. King Midas was stuck with his gold food, and I was stuck with my jellybean, but at least I wasn't going to starve!

"The first thing I had to do was make sure I cared for my jellybean wife. I made a special box for her, with a cottonwood and silk lining, so I could carry her in my pocket without her going any more sticky, or being squashed. I had to keep her dry too, because jellybeans dissolve in water you know. I couldn't let my wife disappear down the plug hole, or escape down my trouser leg when it rained either, now could I?

"But it wasn't all bad. Having a jellybean wife had some good points. For example, it kept the other girls away. I was a handsome feller in those days. At fourteen I was nearly the tallest in the class, so most of me girls looked up to me, and quite a few of them tried chasing me. Whenever they got too close, I just fished the box out of my pocket and showed them the jellybean. "Hey watch it!" I'd say, "I'm a married man. Don't go messing with me!"

"You should have seen the girls back off when I did that!

"You see, I had eyes only for the girl of my dreams. I wanted to be her Prince Charming. One day I would carry her off on my white horse to a castle in the clouds. I hoped, one day, that she would notice me, and hold my hand, and go to the pictures with me ... but it didn't turn out like that.