Crazy Newspaper Headlines

Wording of this Handout:

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Grandmother of eight makes hole in one

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers

William Kelly was fed secretary

Milk drinkers are turning to powder

Safety experts say school buss passengers should be belted

Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

Farmer Bill dies in house eye drops off shelf

Squad helps dog bite victim

Dealers will hear car talk at noon

Enraged cow injures farmer with axe

Miners refuse to work after death

Two Soviet ships collide - one dies

If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while

War dims hopes of peace

Man is fatally slain

Something went wrong in Jet crash, experts say