I vowed God didn't want me, I was drowning in shame,
I vowed God didn't need me, I could barely say his name,
I'd let him down so badly, I was only sure he must,
Look at me through eyes that could only see disgust.
I vowed when I was "better" I'd maybe let him in,
I vowed when I was "fixed" I'd sort things out with him,
I couldn't come before him in such a troubled state,
I felt so ashamed and so I thought that I should wait.
I had to sort my head out, I had to heal my heart,
I'd only let him down, I didn't want to fall apart.
I'd only make him angry, when I proved I couldn't be,
The child that he hoped and intended me to be.
Then from somewhere I heard a gentle voice come through....
"I want to walk beside you.....I've been waiting here for you"