Presence

I really haven't tried too hard
to study with my heart.
I've failed so much it seems that
every day is a new start.
My earthly problems overwhelm;
I've put them before You.
Finding excuses to not be close,
I've missed Your presence too.
This willful behavior & stubborn pride
come from Satan himself.
I'm guilty of loving You while
I keep putting You on a shelf.
Oh, Lord - I'm so sinful;
stained black as deep, deep night.
Oh, God - I'm so weak;
please send me Your strong might!
How can You love me as I am?
I will never understand.
Thank You, Father, for cupping me
within Your loving hand.
I want to do better...I really do!
And fail day in, day out.
I speak not of You even tho' I know
I should be glad and shout.
Would I do better if I knew
I'd only one chance, one try?
Or would I still be willful
and shout, "Oh, Lord...why?"
I know that I am richly blessed
and see it every day.
So, why is it so difficult
to follow You in Your way?
Oh, please forgive, please understand -
love me more and more.
I do believe; I know You care...
of that I can be sure.
Father, I seek new ways to talk to You;
trying this and that.
When all I need is to settle down
for our usual chat.
No fancy words or rituals
can bring me closer to You.
Just taking time to tell the truth:
sin's in me thru and thru.
Create in me a clean heart, Lord.
Make me pure as snow.
Ease my concerns & doubts, dear God,
so I may truly know
the presence of The Trinity
beside me every day...
guiding me,
loving me,
forgiving me,
as I stumble along my way.