Thoughts on Marian...and a Prayer

How could you leave
without saying goodbye?
There are too many regrets
I think with a sigh.
We needed to talk, to forgive,
to laugh, to love...
to come together under
our Father in heaven above.
But anger, hurt and hatred
were in your heart;
you refused to amend them
before we were apart.
So, here am I!
Left with sadness & pain;
left to suffer anguish and
guilt without gain.
"If only this and if only that"
goes through my mind;
oh, how I try
to keep my thoughts kind!
My Christian walk demands
a burden of proof...
from love & forgiveness
I can't be aloof.
But, Lord, how hard it is
to actually begin;
I need to remember
again and again...
How very much You've loved me,
how much You've forgiven.
I've no right on earth to be
considering division.
You know my heart and live in my soul;
I can only shine when
I'm letting You control
these evil and sinful thoughts
I have within.
oh, Lord - have mercy!
And, save me from sin.