I used to sit and stare and think
What life would be like without a drink
The thought I couldn't comprehend
Except when my life had come to its end.
I needed it, first thing in the morning
Even before the day was dawning.
I needed it, during a hard day at work
And long ignored my colleague's smirks.
I needed it, to relieve the days' pressures
And always called in for a few stiff measures.
I needed it, at night to help me sleep
It worked much better than counting sheep!
The merry-go-round went on for years
And I haven't told you about all the tears
All the hurt, the anger the trouble, and pain
I caused my loved one's time and again
The hospitals, the courts the cold prison cell
Asking "what happened?" no memory to tell.
All the promises…" I'll never do it again"
They amounted to nothing in the end.
"It's over its finished I'm drinking no more"
Then Satan would whisper "Isn't life such a bore?"
And that was all I needed to hear
And it started again with… "just one small beer"
40 years have passed since I had my last drink
I remember it well, I was sick in the sink
And feeling as bad as I'd ever felt before
I struggled through the surgery door.
The doctor he never minced his words
And told me straight just how bad it was
"Your body, it can't take any more
Carry on drinking and you'll die for sure"
Something just "clicked" and I knew "that's it"
And I never drank again from that day till this.
It was good, at the start, having a clear head
Wakening up in my own bed.
Knowing where I'd been the night before
Not worrying about the knock on the door.
Gaining respect again from family and friends
Yes, it was good to feel normal again.
Then it happened, I'm not sure when
But the good feelings, they began to wane.
And I felt so empty and dirty inside
But this time, no bottle to hide behind.
As I thought of my past and what I'd become
I felt so ashamed with nowhere to turn.
I know now I was running away from God
And He began to convict me through His Word.
For, in His mercy and in a most wonderful way
He took me way back to my Sunday school days
When often I stood on the Sunday school chair
Reciting the verses I'd learned as a child there.
God's word was being stored in my heart
And one day his Spirit would set me apart.
It happened one Sunday I was out for a walk
I passed a mission hall, like many times before.
As I passed I could hear the service begin
The thought never entered my mind to go in.
I just couldn't believe it… next thing I knew
I was sitting at the end of the pew!
To say I enjoyed the service that morning
Wouldn't be true, in fact, it felt a bit boring!
Or maybe it was because of what I heard
And felt more embarrassed at "praise the Lord"
I left that morning thinking "it's ok for them
It's not for me; I'll not be back again"
But the service at 3 that very same day
I went back…with my mind in disarray!
I couldn't understand what was happening to me
It was the last place on earth I wanted to be.
I began to think "am I going insane
Maybe I should talk to the doctor again!"
Again I left, thinking, "Well I've tried it twice
It's not for me, though the people are nice"
That same Sunday night in the pouring rain
Yes, you guessed it…I went to the service again
I couldn't tell you all the preacher had to say
I just knew God was directing my life that day.
And He led me to his Mercy Seat
Where I poured out my sin at Jesus Feet
And He made me a new creation in Christ
I found what I'd been looking for all my life.
I'd love to share more of all that He has done
Giving me my wife, 2 daughters, and a son.
Serving in Africa among the poor and afflicted
Watching Him deliver those who were addicted
Serving Him in the local church at home
Watching Him do wondrous things through His Word.
So if you meet me in heaven please say "hello"
And I'll finish my story then listen to your own
And as we share together of God's amazing grace
We'll lift our hearts in wonder, love, and praise.