I preached a sermon one Sunday
I knew I had too much to say
And perhaps I'd become a little boring
For heads began to nod in the pew
Not just one but quite a few
And then a crescendo of loud snoring
I could see their eyes glaring up at me
Their thoughts I'm glad I couldn't read
And I could feel the terrible friction
Then one by one the brave did shout
"We've had enough we want out
Will you hurry up and say the benediction"
I was in my conclusion but still going strong
And we hadn't yet sung our last song
A favorite of mine… "The Lion of Judah"
When I heard a noise from the back
I looked and saw it was angry Jack
But to my surprise, he was shouting "hallelujah"
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Someone loves my preaching after all these years
And I have to admit it brought me to tears
And I had to reach for my Kleenex Tissue
And I preached on till my throat was sore
While all the people headed for the door
But angry Jack kept shouting "hallelujah"
I preached until my strength was no more
And finally, as I made my way to the door
I passed my little friend alone in the pew
I walked over to him and patted his back
And said "thank you so much Jack
I was so encouraged to hear you shout hallelujah!"
But he looked at me with his face in a rage
And I'm sure I saw steam coming out his ears!
And he said "if I wasn't saved I would kill you"
"I wasn't trying to encourage you
You preached too long and I missed my tea
And I was shouting up at you… that'll do you"
That'll do you! That'll do you! That'll do you! That'll do you!
That'll do you!