Who would I cry to?

I can't seem to remember how many friends I've carried
How many I've cried for, how many I've buried
How many different mothers I've watched shed tears
I seem to have forgotten over all these years
and I can't seem to remember that most grisly sound
The cranking of the chains as they're lowered in the ground
The thud of the dirt as the caskets disappear
and the names on the headstones, so glossy and clear
and I can't seem to remember all of the late night cries
sitting on the porch, looking toward the skies
as I tell my friends I'm sorry and drop tear after tear
and I just can't believe that they can't hear

How would I cry out to my friends
how could I tell them that they're missed
because where would people go...
if God doesn't exist

I can't seem to remember the day my mama passed away
screaming to her "No! Mama, please just stay"
Hanging my head sadly, dropping down to one knee
knowing I just lost the greatest part of me
and I just can't remember not crying, for my brothers
concealing the tears, pretending for others
Telling them "Hang on" and "Be strong like me"
"We have to stick together because we're family"
I can't seem to remember when I finally got to cry
It seemed like a week before my eyes were dry
I finally got to show my mom how much she means to me
and I just can't believe that she can't see

How would I cry out to my loved ones
how could I show them that they're missed
because where would people go...
if God doesn't exist

I probably won't remember the day that I die
or being resurrected in the midnight sky
as I listen to the sound, the beautiful sound
of a multitude of angels gathered around
and I don't think I'll remember feeling all the pain
the days of sorrow, the days of rain
The times when I was of the world, the times when I was bound
All the times that I got lost, before I was finally found
but the one thing I'll remember are the ones I'll leave behind
I'll be in their hearts, and I'll be on their mind
They'll know that I am there every time they turn around
and they just won't believe I'm just forever in the ground

I will know that I am loved
and I will know that I am missed
and it's all because of God...
that I even exist