for now that I'm alive...

The sweet scent of havoc always lingered in my mind
If I couldn't have it then I left it all behind
Usually I found it as the embers burned my soul
Unusually grounded, I would slip into my hole

Six-feet of peace beneath the life that I called "living"
Headstones fall to pieces, the strife was unforgiving
Graveyard misdemeanors lead to harmonious death
Behavioral screeners read each felonious breath

The devil inside me always said that he was me
The rebel inside me would most certainly agree
Yet the angel within blows his trumpet as he sings
but salvation and sin, they share the same pair of wings

There's a part of my heart the world used to occupy
Torn apart from the start, now I'm here to testify
The day that I arrive is the day I say goodbye
for now that I'm alive...Lord, I just can't wait to die

This poem was a finalist in the November 2018 poetry contest