Clouds of Grace

The seconds seem to march on by
as I lay in my bed.
The still, dark room surrounds me as
life's chaos fills my head.

I sought God's great forgiveness here
and prayed His 'will' be done.
I sought His endless blessings too -
His each and every one.

Awakened in the dead of night
brings pain and misery.
Those pins and needles sting me like
a million honey bee.

There's something in my eyes that runs
right down my wrinkled cheeks.
The seconds turn to minutes and
then hours into weeks.

The weeks turn into months and years
as I lay on my bed.
I hear the ticking of the clock
as life hangs by a thread.

A thread that is so fragile and
holds every thought that comes -
and pounds into my painful ears
like noisy, marching drums.

I try to shut my eyes and sleep,
but through the pain and flack -
my tears still win the battle, though
I've tried to hold them back.

My head begins exploding with
anxiety attack,
but so as not to live regret
I yank my muscles back.

This horrid pain has hit me like
a ton or two of brick -
that brings more torture to my ears
with every single 'tick'.

I sought God's will through faithful hope
but must accept this quest -
that when my fragile thread does snap,
I find that God has blessed.

Not maybe how I thought He would -
because this world harms.
But when that fragile thread does snap -
I'll find I'm in His arms.

For Christ endured this torture too.
He knows just how I feel.
So faithfully He carries me
and brings my heart to heal.

He holds me up, takes tension off
that single fragile thread,
so I can float on clouds of grace
that quell my pain instead.

This poem won second place for the October 2016 poetry contest